‘Unsuccessful application’. That has been the subject of so many emails I have received during what has been a largely frustrating 2019. The latest came through today, though this one was rather different to the rest. For a start, this email didn’t relate to a job application, and secondly, it didn’t generate that same sense of disappointment. If anything, it came with a sense of relief.
The email confirmed that I was unsuccessful in the ballot for the 2020 London Marathon, I think for the 5th consecutive year. I’m still very keen to tackle the London Marathon. To me, it’s the most iconic Marathon in the world, and the roads of the first half of the Marathon formed the backbone of the routes where my passion for running was truly realised. It would mean a lot to me to take part in the event, but 2020 probably wasn’t the best year for me to do it.
Firstly, London is the type of course I would want to race, to chase my P.B., in part due to the fact that it might be many more years before I got another shot at taking part. I’m certainly nowhere near that sort of form right now, and I’m not sure I’d be able to get into that shape by April.
To do so would require a single-mindedness in terms of my diet, training and racing. I might have entered a 10km and a Half Marathon, but those events would have been about speed and pace rather than the experience.
After nearly a year of sticking to a very regimented regime where I have never not been preparing for my next Marathon, the prospect of spending the first four months of next year focussed on another Marathon doesn’t appeal. So, whilst each previous unsuccessful ballot application has been followed by immediately signing up for an alternative Spring Marathon, that’s not something I’m doing this year.
In fact, I’m fully intending to start 2020 without having a single event confirmed on my calendar. I want my choices to be more spontaneous, adapting not only to how my body is feeling but also what I’m enjoying about running at that moment. That approach might see me miss out on a place at the bigger events which typically sell out in advance, but one thing this year has taught me is that the size of the event and the enjoyment of the event aren’t always correlated.
The sense of the unknown can at times be unsettling, but right now, not knowing what my 2020 will look like is pretty exciting.
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